More Stuff White Midwesterners Like: Mules.

You don't see them so much anymore, but back in the day every farm had a mule or three. However, our love of mule has endured here in the midwest. It's the official state animal in Missouri, the mascot for Central Missouri State University (or whatever in the hell they're callin' it these days) and the high school mascot in towns from Fairfield, Illinois to Bedford, Michigan to Poplar Bluff. Nowadays the Amtrak line from St. Louis to Kansas City is called the "Mule." And if you've never swallowed a Moscow Mule you're missing something. (Get your mind outta the gutter.) Just add vodka, lime juice and ginger Beer and serve it cold in a pewter mug. It's gooder'n hell, I'm telling ya.

White Midwesterner of the Week: That hot guy on Mad Men.

See photos of Jon

Oh sure, you thought that Don Draper guy on the teevee was a native of New York? Heck no that boy is from St. Louis, Missouri. He went to some fancy-pants high school in Ladue (where the money is) and even got an acting scholarship to go to Mizzou. (Brad Pitt went there too without an acting scholarship, but he seems to do OK.) But you know he's a White Midwesterner on account of the way he wears pleated khakis on the show, and I bet you a donut he's got a few pieces of Budweiser memorabilia at his house. You can take the boy outta St. Louis, but you can't take the St. Louis outta the boy.

If you'd like to nominate someone for WM of the WK, email us.

October 30, 2008

Extreme White Midwestern Home Makeover, Part 1: Church Cookbooks

Pre-1950 Book.JPG
Originally uploaded by lisa_h
I've joked with people that I wanted to name the book, "Al Qaeda's Guide To Blending Into The Midwest" instead of "I Love Ranch Dressing." But truly - if you happen to be one of the poor unfortunate souls who wasn't blessed to be born in the Great Midwest, there is still hope for you should you have the opportunity to live here.

Behold: Extreme White Midwestern Home Makeover, Part 1 - Church Cookbooks

Outfitting your home in White Midwestern Style begins in the kitchen, on account of the fact that we all are big eaters, and the first thing you should buy is a smattering of church cookbooks. To really blend in, you need to have old cookbooks, so start looking at your local used bookstore or garage sales.

Now, not any cookbook will do - the following is the list of denominations of White Midwestern churches from which you should select.

Lutheran (Missouri Synod)
Lutheran (other)

Catholic (only if you live in an urban area that has a kick-ass St. Patrick's Day Parade)
Baptist, non-southern

Anything with the words "Kosher" (sorry, rabbi) or that contain goat-based cuisine


m.v. said...

I have a used church cook-book. I am in!

Melinda said...

I'm so in. I have that smattering of cookbooks.